The Practice of Detaching

When we hear the word detach often people think this is something that is unhealthy. People ask me “Aren’t we supposed to be attached and present in life?”

Detaching from your thoughts does not mean ignore or suppress. You avoided those two things when you began validating yourself. Still detaching is key because if you do not you will feed an unwanted thought which will cause you to go down a rabbit hole.

Here is where a little thought or insecurity begins to manifest into real doubt, worry, stress, and fear.

In this step, you must realize the thought you were having was not your thought it was the thought of that part of you that is scared. Your inner child. Also understanding that it came from something else other than what is currently going on in your life meaning it was most likely coming from your past.

When you know the thought was not your thought, and that it is coming from past wounds, assumptions or limiting beliefs, which are all fears you can begin to go to the next step.

When you can move away from a thought, see it and not attached to it you can begin to speak to it.

You can motivate it, heal it, and move through it. Moving through a thought is allowing yourself to feel it and not suppress it but also giving it space to be so you can lovingly handle it and not let it handle you.

A great exercise to begin practicing this is to write down the thought. Journal for a second the real fear, worry or stress you are feeling. Do not hold back, let it out. Let the little girl or boy inside talk to you and share with you all their concerns and struggles.

Once you got it all out, what you will do next is leave that journal. Give yourself a minute and go do something else. In a few minutes come back to it but when you read it, you must read it as if you are now the parent, friend, or coach.

You are reading a stranger’s thoughts and feelings. Here you have emotionally detached from your thoughts, so you do not continue to feed them.

This will allow you the space to take care of yourself rationally, logically, and lovingly.

Once you have done this enough you will no longer need to stop throughout the day and do this exercise. You will be able to do each step while just living life. You will be so in tune with what you are feeling and be able to give yourself the coaching, support and love you need to handle any situation you are faced or feeling.

While all things you cannot go from 0-60 so I suggest focusing for a week on one step. Perhaps you lack self-awareness and mindfulness is something you must begin practicing. Maybe you know all the stories you tell yourself, but you often judge yourself and do not give yourself the gift of validation to allow yourself to be human and feel.

Wherever you choose to begin you are giving not only yourself but others the gift of having a healthy relationship. You will never be able to have a healthy interaction with another person if you cannot have one with yourself.

When life happens and you need to be able to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally this is the process that will allow you to not only heal and survive from life but also THRIVE